I like you, just as you are.

We were at Costa sipping coffee. She asked about his love life. Then we started doing a round-table dissertation on romantic love.

‘We just didn’t click. Sometimes, it’s a bit difficult to be with someone like that. It’s ok to be friends, but, well...’

‘Maybe your perfect match is the complete opposite of you. My girlfriend and I are the exact opposite.’

‘If you find someone who’s very similar too you, it won’t work out.’

‘You never know. The one you love may be very different from your imagined ideal partner.’

‘I mean, I’m open to all sorts of possibility.’

‘The best thing is to find someone who complements you.’

‘I believe it’s about whether you accommodate and accept each other.’

It’s funny. We have all sorts of philosophy of love. I somehow had the feeling that they thought I chose not to fall in love with anyone who didn’t fit my ideal of men. Gee! I don’t believe in ideal because there’s no such thing as ideal. It’s my philosophy that no 2 people can be 100% completely identical or complementary to each other. And falling in love is not sth you can choose to do or not. It just happens. But, whether to start a relationship with someone is a matter of choice. You can love sby and choose not to be in a relationship with him or not love sby but choose to be involved with him. And the similar/opposite/complementary theory is not sth I believe in. I mean, everyone is unique, so as every relationship. Some relationships work out because the 2 of them are similar in mind, they’re the exact opposite or they complement each other. Why only believe in one way? If you do, isn’t it a kind of ideal? Having say that, however, for me, I do think that there has to be some common ground on ethical values for both parties because if there aren’t, forget about love, I can’t even respect him as a human being. Is that a kind of ideal? Maybe. What I’m saying is that I don’t have an ideal of what a man’s temperament or interest, but to start with, I have to be able to respect that person, whether to be friends or on a more intimate level.